a.light.shineth.

When I woke early this morning, the dark sky blazed with white light – the lawn strangely alive, the leaves phosphorescent.  A full harvest moon bellowed over rooftops, gleaming off tin and slate and telephone wire.  My husband and I stepped out onto the front stoop in our skivvies to give the auspicious day its due:  autumn, with this white harbinger, arrives.

It means change. Yes, but today I feel the pause inside the change.  It is the season of the autumn equinox, after all, which is the tender balance of all things shifting. The moon says:  be the balance quivering in the heart of change.

At an A.L.S. support group this week, I witnessed strangers around a table poised in the balance of their complicated lives.  A man in leg braces poised between his summer-ripe life and the nearing bite of winter.  A widow poised between her long numbing loss and the exhausting return, each day, of life.   A wife torn between tears and rage, fear and love, strength and emptiness.  It is the season’s story:  we all live in this in-between.

I take the moon’s white light into the place of my heart.  I hold in either arm the contradictions given to me, this day, to love.   I feel the earth shift underfoot.  Nothing is certain, but this constant changing.  And yet.  And yet.  Everything is here, and strangely lit, spinning under the night sky.

Susan

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~ by Susan on 09/24/2010.

One Response to “a.light.shineth.”

  1. So poignantly true–this in between space. Last night we walked down to the battery to bathe in moon glow, to fill our hearts up, to pause and be nourished by her beauty.

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