If you knew that you would die today
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change? 

Tracy Chapman’s lyrics strummed their way through yoga class this morning; Stephanie stretched and sank into the question.  Then she rose like a serene warrior and entered the warm air of morning.  If you knew that you would die today . . .

Four voice mails from the same place lobbed in like missiles.  She sat in her car and knew.  Would you change?

Driving the road to High Point, pavement she knows like the veins mapping her hands, she is heading, not home, but into an unfamiliar world.  As Marge Piercy says, You change; or die, and then change.  

Her sisters will gather there.  Plans will be made.  Family will bundle in.  Friends will break with sadness.  Everyone is changed.

It’s just never when we think.  Or how.

Nancy Blum Wood
February 4, 1935 – May 11, 2011

~ by Susan on 05/11/2011.

4 Responses to “a.life.stilled.”

  1. Thinking of you, as always Susan. I know it isn’t exactly “on point”, but I can’t help but think of James Taylor’s beautiful song “Belfast to Boston.” In times of loss and sadness, regardless of the circumstance, I just always go back to this song.
    Kisses from Maine!

  2. Susan, you nailed it. Thanks

  3. Even thought I heard from Noel that your mother had passed, I am weeping while reading this. I am so sorry, Stephanie — sorry for your grief and that of your family. I am sorry that loss is so sudden and that we can never prepare, really for it. I hope that you find comfort within your family and friends. Know how much you are loved and how much you have loved. Your mother knew that.

  4. Stephanie, my thoughts are with you. The finality of a loved one’s death is impossible to understand with the mind. Wishing you and your family lots of time and love and rest, so that you can take this new reality into your heart, with peace. Warmly, Kitty

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